chrysalis

the day my sister was born,
my grandmother helped me put on my socks.
they were the kind I didn’t particularly like,
with lace collars at the scruff
around my ankles, they scratched.
I was preparing to be introduced
to someone who’d impact
my existence immeasurably, ineffably.

the night before, dad and I were waiting
watching, and wondering
at how the baboons on tv
crossed rivers by leaping
on the backs of hippos
like they were only stepping stones,
like lily pads in a pond painted by Monet,
nature documentaries tended to teach me
the most delightfully unexpected things,
and so would my new sibling,
who interrupted the program,
a showstopper already,
when my dad got the call
to go to the hospital and be with my mom,
my sister was coming,
and so was my grandmother, to join me
through my last night as an only child.

change was uneasy, like a jarred cocoon
on the edge of eruption
into some fresh stage of being,
like risen bread,
meeting the occasion,
but having to be patient
before that grand moment
could at last arrive,
so I itched at my too-tight socks in the meantime,
not yet five, but learning
what it would really mean
to greet a new life.

I remember fifth grade,
releasing the butterflies we raised
by the woods past the playground
and the kickball field
where I was always the last pick,
the side-effect of being non-athletic,
watching these tongues of fire
flash brilliantly in the endless blue
blanket of sky, unraveled by their flame
of hope that no dome can hold.

and when our souls met,
when we chose each other
as best friends, eternally,
there was no chrysalis anymore
to contain the growing beauty
of what is everlasting,
only the expanse of possibility
to travel together,
so that even in the unfamiliar,
we forever have each other-

you always knew the way,
remembered the routes
to anywhere, with your GPS brain,
you would love an atlas for a gift
just like I’d love a dictionary,
numbers and words,
both pathfinders, I’m not surprised
we wound up being sisters,
and though I may be the oldest, the leader,
I know I can count on you
to be by my side.